This is a very emotive issue, as I know only too well, having lost both my parents to cancer and suffering several miscarriages. I’d like to offer another way of handling this sensitive subject.
It’s always sad when you lose someone you love – sad and incredibly painful. We lose ourselves in grief as we lament their passing yet we are really feeling sorry for ourselves and what we have lost.
Our loved ones are now free of pain and disease; they suffer no longer and have gone to a better place – a location where the sun always shines, there is no sickness, they stay forever young and love abounds.
Surely this is something to celebrate rather than mourn.
Should we not rejoice for the lives they lived? Would it not be better to reflect upon the happy memories we shared, to cast our minds back over the many years of mutual love and respect we had?
Recall what your loved one stood for: their morals, their generosity of spirit, the love they gave to you and others, their achievements, their sacrifices, and what made them so special to so many people.
Take delight in a life which, no matter how long or short, was full and satisfying. Feel joy for all the people they touched on the mortal plane. Exalt as they become guardian angels.
And never forget, love doesn’t die on either plane.
The wonderful poem by Mary Elizabeth Frye also embodies this spirit and I feel it’s apt to include it here.
Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.