This is a very emotive issue, as I know only too well, having lost both my parents to cancer and suffering several miscarriages. I’d like to offer another way of handling this sensitive subject.
Loss
Day 10 – Loss
It’s always sad when you lose someone you love – sad and incredibly painful. We lose ourselves in grief as we lament their passing yet we are really feeling sorry for ourselves and what we have lost.
Our loved ones are now free of pain and disease; they suffer no longer and have gone to a better place – a location where the sun always shines, there is no sickness, they stay forever young and love abounds.
Surely this is something to celebrate rather than mourn.
Should we not rejoice for the lives they lived? Would it not be better to reflect upon the happy memories we shared, to cast our minds back over the many years of mutual love and respect we had?
Recall what your loved one stood for: their morals, their generosity of spirit, the love they gave to you and others, their achievements, their sacrifices, and what made them so special to so many people.
Take delight in a life which, no matter how long or short, was full and satisfying. Feel joy for all the people they touched on the mortal plane. Exalt as they become guardian angels.
And never forget, love doesn’t die on either plane.
The wonderful poem by Mary Elizabeth Frye also embodies this spirit and I feel it’s apt to include it here.
Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
Knowing this prompt was approaching, I’ve been a bit blue because it called my heart back to my mother’s passing. I didn’t want to write, afraid to revisit the pain. Carlie, your post dashed the sad feelings, and your approach is a much better way to look at and handle ‘loss.’ Thanks
I re-posted a poem that I wrote for my mother: http://donnalsadd.wordpress.com/2013/04/12/aprilprompts-day-10-loss-napowrimo/
I know how difficult a subject this is, Donna, having lost both my parents. There was a time when I wallowed in self-pity as I grieved and even now, I still shed a tear or several on their anniversaries and birthdays, but I do try really hard to celebrate their lives and it does get easier.
I’m so glad my post helped you. Hugs.
I have conflicting feelings about your post. But, I guess we mourn our loss and then we must find a way to move on. So to think of all the people they touched and the good they left behind is a comforting way to look at it. Very good post. Made me pause and think…….I am sorry for your loss.
Thank you, Sherry.
Of course, everyone deals with loss in their own way. All I was trying to do was offer another perspective, in the hope it might resonate with a few people. And if it helps even one person, I’ll be so pleased for them.
This is just what I needed today Carlie, thank you!! We should celebrate the good memories of those we’ve lost.
http://joykeeney.wordpress.com/2013/04/12/aprilprompts-day-10-loss/
Yes, we really should. I’m so glad this post has helped you, Joy.
Thank you Carlie. I agree. Have a nice weekend.
Thanks, Sherry. You too!
Love the poem!!
It’s beautiful, isn’t it?!